Conan’s Monologue: If They Don’t Want Anyone To See Me For 3 Years, Just Leave Me on NBC!

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blurbs from tonight’s monologue:

There’s a rumor that NBC is so upset with me, they want to keep me off the air for 3 years. My response to that is, if NBC doesn’t want people to see me, just leave me on NBC.

Time sure does fly. Do you realize that a baby born on the day we did our first ‘Tonight Show’ is now a slightly larger baby?

This is absolutely true—I received a letter from the adult film company “Pink Visual” offering me a role in one of their porno movies. In the movie I’d be having sex with a beautiful woman and just as we’re about to climax I get replaced by Jay Leno.

No matter what happens, it’s been a real honor to sit in the same chair as Steve Allen, Jack Paar, Johnny Carson Jay Leno and Jay Leno.

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