Variety has a piece today on how the broadcast network's will be marketing their new seasons. My guess is that marketing for next season won't differ that much from the marketing for last season, or next season. Inertia is a powerful force.
However, it does note (edit: some of) the marketing taglines for the fall, which I thought we could have some fun with. Here they are:
ABC: "Laugh On"
CBS: "What I Like About You" (The Romantics, 1980, targeting that youthful CBS demo)
Fox: "So Fox"
NBC: "More Colorful"
In the spirit of fun, here are my alternate taglines:
ABC: "Is Lost Still On?"
CBS: "Honey, Remind Me Again What Network Has All Those Crime Shows I Like"
Fox: "So Hoping For Long Baseball Playoff Series"
NBC: "Less Leno"
CW: "Chicks Dig Us, Watch With Them"
What are your suggestions?
How about…
ABC: “You Watched Us During The NBA Finals, Why Not More Often?”
CBS: “Crime Shows Are For Young People, Too”
FOX: “We Are More Successful Because We Only Program Two Hours of Primetime Each Night”
NBC: “Come See The Shows No One Is Talking About”
CW: “Pinning All Of Our Hopes On Nikita”
LMFAO.
ABC – “In the 90s it was all about Home Improvement, now it's all about Modern Family!!”
CBS – “We really don't care about viewers under 35, if that's OK with you.”
Fox – “We're not just the American Idol network, OK?!”
NBC – “We love our niche shows and could care less what anyone thinks. It's not like we'll be #1 again.”
CW – “It's kind of like the broadcast version of ABC Family. You'll love it if you're a young female.”
(The Romantics, 1980, targeting that youthful CBS demo)
LOL
ABC: We're not NBC! Yet.
CBS: Someday, kids, you will be old enough to watch us, too. (If that doesn't attract the kids, nothing will.)
FOX: It's like how MTV used to actually be about music. We used to actually be about something other than music.
NBC: The only broadcast network that still wins Emmys! For a show no one watches!
CW: OMG! U shud tots watch us!
ABC: “Look, NBC is doing horrible! Pay no attention to the falling ratings here”
FOX: “Not just Idol….we have another singing show too”
NBC: “We're still here”
CBS: “Like fine wine, our viewers get better with age”
CW: OMG! U shud tots watch us!
The scary thing is I could actually see them using this…
I do find it very odd that ABC is promoting themselves as a comedy network. At least I think that's what they mean by “Laugh on.” I can just picture a promo for a Greys/Private Practice crossover, with lots of shots of people about to die and meaningful glances between people and then, at the end, “ABC: Laugh on.”
It's like reading my 12-year-old niece's Facebook page. So, yeah, seems appropriate for them.
ABC: We love our Docu-Style shows!
FOX: If Idol fails, we are so screwed
CBS: Entertaining the elderly one spin-off at a time
NBC: We've changed, honest! Please…come back.
The CW: Making straight guys question their sexuality since 2006.
Oh, dear. I really don't want to have put up with the “So Fox” tagline this fall. That is truly horrible and says nothing. I don't like any of the actual taglines, but that one is by far the worst.
ABC: Who would have guessed that Al Bundy's new show could save us?
CBS: Thank God Charlie Sheen Is Still With Us.
Fox: What other network has cartoons for ya?
NBC: Come people, at least we don't force you to watch too much stupid reality TV
CW: How can we blame you, even we don't like the stuff we air
I think More Colorful is worse, but only barely.
nice
ABC isnt promosting themselves as a comedy network, they do have comedy shows on wednesday but that is it. there slogan isnt “laugh on” it is “start here” the person that made this article is an idiot. “laugh on” is what they use on wednesday comedy nights.
I dont understand your ABC one, but the rest are so hilarious!!!!
ABC may still be using “Start Here” for next fall, but it wasn't mentioned in the Variety piece.
ABC: “For People Who Still Think It's 2006″
CBS: “We've Got Something for Everyone, As Long As You're Old and Love Murder”
FOX: “Who Said Lineups Need Cohesion?”
NBC: “Watch Us Tonight and Win a Free Pizza!”
The CW: “Yeah, We Don't Get It Either”
I must say, there have been quite a number of good slogans already.
I sense a spin off “vote for the best” post coming…
CBS: You want hip? We got Jim Belushi, Tom Selleck, AND William Shatner!
NBC: Tired of uninspired programming? Well, we created another Law & Order and The Apprentice has been resurrected!
FOX: What's the difference? Idol's coming in January!
ABC: On the plus side, none of our returning shows have moved!
CW: If you're not under 30, don't bother.
Why does CBS seem to change it all the time? I thought it was “America's Most Watched Network”?