While we wait for the Saturday night ratings (I'll go out on a limb and predict FOX wins and that NBC's Persons Unknown goes mostly unwatched), imagine what the ratings would be for FOX's Cops if it would have had its cameras trained on Jersey Shore's Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi.
"You can't tell me what to do - I'm Snooki," she yelled at officers during a boozed-up, expletive-filled rant.
"Do you know who I am? I'm f---ing Snooki. You can't do this to me - I'm f---ing Snooki. You guys are going to be sorry for this - release me!"